Posted by: clearspaces60 | October 25, 2014

Create a Blank Document

To start a new page in Microsoft Word you have to Create a Blank Document. Really?? This is one thing I do not need to create- a blank document! The blank page exists already in numerous forms, computer, notebook, journal, lined or unlined paper, but most of all it lives in my head. The elusive blank page. It is always around, lurking, haunting and taunting.

Here it is once again, the witching hour before my writers group. Once a month, one night a month, maybe 2 ½ hours tops, it comes around every month, yet most months I do not have anything prepared. Sure I journal and write during the month but nothing is ready, not finished mind you but just ready to share in some format. Tonight I looked through lots of old files thinking there must be something I can read, sure the new people have not heard it but what about those you have heard it maybe more than twice because I have already shared it again usually without any changes, not even time to edit or revise or expand.

And then it hits me, how ironic that I am constantly feeling challenged by this elusive blank document when I cannot get my mind to stop. I succeed during meditation for a fleeting nanosecond or two, but I rarely come to a complete halt. If I could bypass this writing or typing, even if I could dictate or use one of those voice activated programs and bypass that, the reams of paper and gigabytes of data would be HUGE!! And how terrifying would that be, all the craziness in my head readily available for others to read, would it be nonsense, would my sanity be questioned, would all rights and responsibilities be yanked from me for fear I might act on some of the lunacy?

I hope I am not the only one who feels like they are playing on both sides of this fence. Do I censor myself too severely or not enough? Do I dare to share the truth and nothing but the truth? If I wrote down some of the crazy article or story ideas that float to the surface from time to time would people look at me in a whole new way? I might at least give this a try because as quickly as they come to me the float away into the mist. The smattering of thought does not make it to the blank page. I want dearly to reign this in, I would rather find out it is truly awful than to never know what it might have been.



  1. You so clearly articulate what the rest of us are thinking!


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