Posted by: clearspaces60 | November 2, 2015

“I Understand”

Two little words that should be stricken from the English language unless followed by a concrete fact; I understand you don’t agree with the rules around here, I understand math and will help you, I understand you won a Golden Globe for Best Costume Designer.

Yet in the most chaotic, heinous, tragic and shocking moments, people have the nerve to say “I understand”.  No, actually You Do Not, not a clue, not a nanoparticle of understanding.  My most recent experience with this idiotic statement stems from a confusing and insane situation with our medical insurance company and the doctor’s office, both were to blame and the scenario defies my ability to describe-my blood has boiled enough and I am putting my own health first in this moment.  Through numerous aggravating phone calls speaking to even more numerous customer service representatives, senior representatives, supervisors of the day-whatever the hell that is, and in one case an actual supervisor, I heard this statement more times than I could count.

At first I thought they really did understand and were going to correct the error but after five, then ten, then fifteen and then closing in on 20 different people, my own kindness and understanding transformed like the Hulk to anger, frustration and attack.  Numerous times I responded, No you do not understand, no one does or this problem would be fixed.  To which one young man replied, No, I mean I understand your frustration.  I said, I truly doubt that.  He said, I do, I had to talk to Sprint’s customer service the other day.  I replied, Are you kidding me?  Are you paying Sprint $1700 a month and getting nothing in return??? Then he was kind enough to say, Oh, I’m sorry.

And this is the tip of the iceberg, have you ever known someone who “understands” everything you have ever gone through?  They state with certainty, “I understand what you’re going through” and then compare some trivial incident in their life to a real tragedy in yours.  I work hard to never say this, instead I try to be truthful, “I am sorry this is happening to you”, “I don’t know what to say”, “I have no idea what you are going through, what can I do to help?” or “I cannot begin to imagine what you are experiencing, is there anything you need from me.”  In my opinion if you don’t have anything to offer in the way of support or comfort, or correcting the problem-especially if you caused it, then shut up.

Yeah I know, You Understand!

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