Connections

I love making connections.  My first was connecting the dots. Those books were lots of fun.  The next was probably the telephone connection. Remember when calling long distance was expensive and you didn’t always have a clear connection to hear the other person.  I am sure somewhere in my childhood I heard adults talk about “connections”.  Who knew who and what could they do for you. In some families being “connected” had a whole other scary meaning.  I remember seeing The French Connection as a teen, not too sure I was following the story line, but who cared, Gene Hackman was so handsome and then I would fall for him again as a minister in The Poseidon Adventure a year or two later.

I didn’t learn about electrical connections or connecting flights until I was in my twenties.  One time I had to literally and I mean literally beg and plead with an airline to hold a plane for my boss because his flight was late, and it was the only connecting flight to a little town in West Virginia where our wood laboratory furniture factory was located.  I cannot imagine that even being possible today.  Now of course we talk about connection all the time, cell phones, computers, cable, WiFi.

I think there are more important connections and they are my favorite.  Connecting people to one another.  Introducing my friends to each other, encouraging people to reach out to others with the same interests, or answers and solutions to meet their needs.  I get excited when I can have one friend meet another.  I have created friendships this way all of my life.  Facebook has been great for this, back when it did not connect the same shared post but showed it over and over, I would get my friends and family who posted the same things to become friends.  I did this for two reasons- How awesome is it to connect people from different cities, states and countries who are like minded? And I didn’t want to see the same shared post 8 or 10 times!!

Lately, I have really opened my eyes to the reality that some people do not want their friends and family to communicate with each other.  They want walls and barriers.  They want to compartmentalize their lives and fill it with drama.  I believe that many people do not feel alive if there is no drama going on in and around their lives.  This has also given me an opportunity to see where I have had these types of friendship over the course of my life starting with the mean girls in elementary school.

I prefer people who are open and honest yet know the difference between secrecy and privacy.  If everything has to be a secret to the point that one friend cannot talk to a mutual party, not only is it exhausting but the level of dysfunction surely escalates.

Now I more clearly see that the demand to keep things separate and contained is based on fear.  Many people are terrified of sharing themselves.  Being open and authentic takes courage. I guess I have never felt so ashamed or embarrassed or humiliated about myself that I would not want the people I love to know and love each other.  I understand more clearly that this is a real issue for many people.  I am learning to accept it, and to see it with more compassion and forgiveness.

I will still do what I do, make connections, bring people together, encouraging friendships and business relationships.  Connections-when done in a healthy way with honest intentions- may bring us together in new and wonderful ways.